Returning to my old me

Tweet for the day: 1Oct13 @drostrata
One of the hardest…
Returning to my old me…

These past few days is like me being coded into fast forward phase of life… as if I’m standing unstable amid the pacing of people in a train station during rush hour… going with the flow no matter how hard I tried to contest against it… seeing time flies when I’ve wished it didn’t. In the end, reality wins over my desires.

Then, I choose to shelter myself from the pain that I’m expecting to transpire (and to make it real~ it befalls in me now), though eventually I’ve realized I failed protecting myself from this agony . What else do you expect when you already gave a piece of your heart to someone who is meant to leave.

In truth, no one can protect me from this heart break. All I can do for now is to savor this bitterness until… time heals me.

I’ve tried my best not to show you my weaknesses – my tears. By being wordless every time were together and try not to provoke our emotions. It’s been so hard because you’re near me yet I can’t tell you how special you are and how happy I am to have you.

Isn’t it funny how I describe this feeling, as if we turned into lovers and our hearts entwined already. In a matter of fact, we identify each other as sisters from different mother of course. We have so much in common, same wavelength of thoughts especially in humor, same size, same built, just like twin… we supposed. We were inseparable most of the time. We complement each other especially in work (You with the Math and I’m with the Drawing). You’ve change me in your simple way… and finally I open a portion of my thoughts and feelings that I seldom do and share it with you.

And now, every corner of our office – the pantry, my table and your table, the corridor, the meeting room, in the man hoist, the barracks; the spot we love outside the main gate – your place while you puff and the stair near hotel where we drink our Banana Berries; our hangouts – food court, Starbucks, Jamba juice, Barracks… reminded me only of you.

Smiling, talking nonstop, teasing…

Thank you for coming into my life… twin sister!

You always say no goodbyes only laters

But for me… Maybe it’s… maybe…

Because honestly, the hardest part for me is to cope up with a long distance friendship. I never had one… and I don’t know if I will have you.

Everyone who left me eventually find my replacement.

So here I am…

Returning to my old me… I’ll have to deal with this all over again, trying to contain my sorrows and not letting others try to hurt me more. Will close this portion of my heart for as long as I can…

But for the meantime I’m missing you already…

Till we see each other again… ‘Ge



One thought on “Returning to my old me

  1. twin!! hmm. you made me cry. You!!!! well. like i said, laters, ayt? we might not have as much chill time as we want, but the ones we are yet to have, we’ll make them count. eh? no more titigan moments ang peg. and even though we might only have once a month chill time, we’ll make it like before, or better. missing you already too.

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